
Flatiron Books
Release Date: January 24, 2017
Genre: Fiction
My Rating: 🍪🍪🍪🍪
Frankel’s illustrative writing style drew me into this story from the get-go. I keep a note on my phone where I write down interesting descriptions while I’m reading, and I’ve never had so many come from the same book before. Her prose is unique, imaginative, and often humorous. Her ability to write childish conversation is impeccable and sometimes amusing, sometimes heartbreaking.
This is How it Always Is explores the story of Rosie and Penn and their children: four boys, and then Claude. From a young age, Claude has a preference towards things that are stereotypically associated with females. He loves wearing dresses and putting barrettes in his hair, and would rather hear bedtime stories about princesses than princes. Rosie and Penn try to be as accepting of his choices as possible, but there is an ever-present fear in the back of their minds: a fear of what everyone else will think, and how he will be treated, or mistreated accordingly. After Penn and Rosie uproot the family to Seattle, Claude chooses to go by Poppy and proceeds to go to school identifying as a girl.
One of the great struggles that Penn and Rosie grapple with is whether lying by omission really constitutes lying about who Poppy is. They think that by allowing her a fresh start in a new place where everyone assumes she is a girl, things will be easier and less confusing for her in the long run. It also means, however, that they spend their lives waiting for the other shoe to drop. The conversations between the two as they try to grapple with a layer of parenting they have never dealt with before was eloquently depicted and gave insight into the different possible approaches to their situation.
A steady thread throughout the plot is bedtime stories. Penn, an aspiring writer, makes up tales for his five kids before bed every night. He tells the story of Grumwald and, at Poppy’s insistence, Princess Stephanie. The story emulates the children’s own lives, with Princess Stephanie scared to admit to her friends that she is secretly a night fairy. I loved the image of all five kids curled up to listen to these thinly veiled life lessons that Penn tried to parse through along with them.
I also enjoyed getting to see Rosie and Penn’s love story, and how their career choices make them question how their family has turned out. Rosie is a doctor, while Penn stays home with the kids, and writes on the side. They wonder if the way their gender roles don’t conform to norms is confusing for Poppy. I thought this was an interesting and heart wrenching addition to the book, as was the children’s naivity as they learn about gender discrimination in the workforce.
This book covered a lot of ground. Overall, it was an exceptional exploration of parenting, not only of a transgender child, but of any child, especially those who might be considered different in any way.
My Rating: 🍪🍪🍪🍪
Buy This Is How It Always Is on Amazon
This Is How It Always Is on Goodreads
![Treat Your S[h]elf](https://treatyourshelf.home.blog/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/bookstagram.png)











